The Normalization of Sexualizing Children

Little girls are being groomed into passively accepting their place as objects in our pornified culture, and boys are being taught exploitative and abusive sexual scripts.

In the Courage Worldwide Certified Volunteer Training on November 3, 2012, it was said that

American culture and society is inundated with sexual messages that normalize sexual behaviors.  While we should be concerned with the facts that our children are being influenced at younger and younger ages with sexual media and messages, the greater concern is how they are learning to view sex.  We need to not only ask whether children are being sexualized too early, but how they are being sexualized.  It’s one thing to have ideas presented; it’s entirely different when the ideas themselves are wrong.

This means that the messages that modern American females are being taught is that their value is in their sexuality.  Girls are more than ever coming from broken homes – single parent homes, financial struggles, being a latchkey child, etc. – and are looking for value.  If the only value that they are being told is found in their sexuality then that is where they will turn their focus to as they begin to understand that this is where they will receive attention and “love”.

Whatever happened to the Proverbs 31 woman that used to be held up as an ideal for young females?  In this passage we are told that a woman “dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong…strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come”, meaning that she is dignified and self-respecting.  Modern day females are taught quite the opposite of this, unfortunately, as they are deceived into believing that their outward appearance is the only venue through which they are able to obtain any form of value, love or praise.  While dressing provocatively may ensure immediate attention, this interest is only surface-level, shallow and self-serving for recipients.  Females lose their self-worth as they begin to fulfill and satisfy the sexual cravings of others.

No longer is the Proverbs 31 standard upheld or desired as the post-modern Westernized culture has taught females that this lifestyle will not garnish the clamor of others.  Outward beauty is sought as a means to gain value because females lack a healthy understanding of what it means to be loved.  Proverbs 31 ends with this phrase: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  How true this reality rings!  No matter how much energy, time or money a woman pours into her physical appearance, she cannot fight the biological aging process.  Outward beauty vanishes over time as hair beings to gray, skin grows soft and “curves” become more prominent.  If the outward appearance is the only thing that a woman has, then she has become a shallow shell that thinly veils an insecure soul that is seeking value and love beyond what her body can garnish.

A Godly woman who strives for the Proverbs 31 standard learns to place her emphasis on her inward beauty: maturing her character and refining her faith.  This does not mean she neglects her outward appearance.  Christ calls His people to take care of their bodies so that they are pleasing and glorifying unto Him (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).  A Proverbs 31 woman’s value is not contingent on her psychical appearances and whether or not she can garnish the attention and compliments from others based on how she looks.  Rather, she refines her character in order that she may bring glory and honor to God.  A Godly woman’s physical appearance becomes a reflection of her character as she seeks to glorify Christ rather than her fleshly desires.

Women in the 21 Century – particularly young females – should be taught that their worth is found in their inward beauty, not their physical appearance, and should be spurred towards seeking the face of Christ rather than the praise of humanity.  Modern American girls should be taught that their worth is found in their character, maturity and spiritual walk.  Girls need to understand that genuine value is found within, rather than what they can procure through their bodies.  Once females are confident in who they are as individuals, they can begin to throw off the chains that society has shackled onto them.  Sexuality is not a legitimate source of value!


6 thoughts on “The Normalization of Sexualizing Children

  1. I really appreciate this post. Thank you for writing about this issue. Until reading this, I had no idea how much my identity was wrapped up in my sexuality and my sex-appeal, my outward appearance rather than in Christ. I’m 19 years old and I’ve believed from the age of 6 that my body was not beautiful, that I am overweight, that I am okay-looking but never beautiful, and that people will only love me if I look a certain way. Gaining weight and being fat is a drastic fear of mine, probably bordering on a phobia and has caused eating disorders that persist even now. Thank you again. I needed to read this. Even with my church’s current sermon series regarding image called “Image is Everything” ( I did not recognize the areas in my life that were causing my identity to be in something other than Jesus. He definitely used this post to show me something about myself.

    • Thank you so much for your feedback as I greatly appreciate the response! It is so hard not to focus on outward appearance and (feminine) sexuality when that is all that the world feeds us. I have struggled with many of the same issues you have and although I seek to root my identity in Christ, it is hard to fight what has been socially and culturally ingrained in me as a female! I am interested in your church’s sermon series and will check it out. Glad to hear that God used this post to speak to you. How encouraging! Best wishes!

      • I never realized until recently that many, many women struggle with those issues. Especially Christian women who realize that those are, in fact, issues. I also follow your husband’s blog, and both of you seem extremely well-founded in Christ. Best wishes to you as well, and thanks for replying. (:

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